Love

I love Gary Ward. I've loved Gary Ward since 1991. He's English. Lives in England. Married, although unhappily. Wasn't married when we fell in love with eachother, life goes on. Children, yes two. He loves me too. He has always loved me but is stuck in England being a successful lawyer in a loveless marriage. I love him. Is the reason I can't have lasting relationships? Is he the reason I subconsciously intentionlly devote myself to relationships doomed to fail? Don't know. I do know that I love being in love with the unattainable.

True its Friday the 13th.

What's so scary about it? Well, I've been bored out of my mind at work today...THAT can't be good.
Nothing exciting is happening in my life right now...I can't even think of anything exciting to make up.
um...lets see, I'm going to dinner tonight at one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people...Melting Pot with Kristi....oh the cheese ...oh the chocolate...now THAT'S scary...all those delicious calories just begging to go in my body...joy. all of it, pure joy.
I have a skull ring on right now, and THAT'S kinda scary. ( I left my bracelet o' bones in the car)
I got my hair cut today and it looks, for lack of a cooler word...pretty. PRETTY HAIR? Since when have I had pretty hair? Short black dirty and spikey....yes...but pretty? no. until now.
lot's of rambling going on here. Is is apparent i'm trying to kill time until my dinner tonight? Holdy shit...4 more hours. I'm going to go jump out the window now.....

scary.