Life moves fast


So my one love tells me he's discussed separation with the wife. After the holidays he'll be looking to buy his own house. Then save the money to come out here. Seems so unromantic for him to come out here as opposed to me going there. California seems so much dirtier than crisp ole' England Then again, dirty is my middle name. Off to the Riviera Adult motel we go.
I love him. It makes me sick. And he loves me. So weird after all this time. 16 years. He's so beautiful.
My plan. Wait until he's moved out on his own. Then travel to go visit him up there. That way there is no sneaking around. I want to go up there, but I'd stay with my friends who absolutely couldn't know. They know the attraction we have for one another and there's no hiding from them. Yes, good plan. wait until he's moved out. its all exciting in my head.

but back to reality. back to my crush on an unhappily married man here...now...what is it about me that's attracted to men trapped in miserable marriages. more on that later... actually, i have time. my vendor. yahoo...gives me personal attention. I get what I want with a wink and a smile. he likes it. oh he's tall. so tall and blonde. a man, if you will. what i wouldn't give for this man to shove me down on the conference room table and press check the hell out of me. I'm sexually tormented. my imagination and porn can only take me so far. Im in a phase where I want to be a big ol' whore and just have random sex and get it out my system. (Note: i haven't had sex with another person in well over a year...i'm expiring) its a thought, but I won't act on such a thought.